by Alena Palad
Teenagers I know giggle and get excited about Valentine’s Day. However, 19-year old Jed Reyes has developed a different view of Valentine’s Day. “For me, this is a special day that my mom and I like to call ‘Heart’s Day,’” she says. “It is not about intimate declarations of love from people who are in a romantic relationship. It’s about expressing special appreciation to my family and friends.”
I asked her why she thinks that way. “I grew up in a strict household.” She said, “My parents established their authority as the heads of our home, and they expected their rules to be followed. I remember in my primary years in school, my parents didn’t want me or my brother to be involved in romantic relationships. They wanted us to focus on our studies first. Achiever ako, laging top sa class, pero ‘nung nag- grade 6 ako, nagka-crush ako at napabayaan ko’ng pag-aaral ko dahil mas naka-focus ako sa kanya. Di ko napansin ‘yun until natapos ang school year, grumaduate ako sa school na pangalawa lang, instead na valedictorian. Nasaktan ako dun. I realized na hindi ko pala kayang pagsabayin ang love at pag-aaral. Since ayaw din ng parents ko na makipagrelasyon muna ako, I decided to focus sa pag-aaral ko. Tapos ‘nung nag-college ako, nagkaroon ako ng mga kaibigan na may mga boyfriend. Nakita ko ‘yung saya nila pero nakita ko rin kung gaano kahirap kapag nagkakaroon sila
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“My parents wouldn’t allow me to stay over at a friend’s place, whether it was a school related activity or not. I remember that I tended to have small fights with my mom about their strict parenting approach, but I realized the value of their discipline when I got exposed to other people’s lives. I saw that relationships are more successful if they have the blessing of the parents. I also learned that people are more mature in handling situations if they have the opportunity to finish their studies.
“When I turned 18, my parents became less strict but they still want to know who I go out with. They feel that church friends are a good influence on us so they let us get involved in youth group activities at the church. I feel complete and I do not need immediate romantic relationships.”
On Valentine’s Day, Jed gives her friends little gifts or cards of appreciation she has made. She says, “The important thing is to express how much I value them.”
