by Joshua Kho
When Anna passed away, I truly felt powerless to do anything. There was really nothing our family could do but surrender her into God’s arms. I prayed “Lord, there’s really nothing I can do any more, but I know you love my sister, so please take care of her and tell her we love her so much.”
It Was The First Time Our Family Had Encountered A Serious Illness
At the time Anna got sick, my father worked in the United States, so I was the only man in the house. I took care of my mom, Anna and Monina, and even Liam, Anna’s son. We had a wonderful time when Liam was born. Anna was very enthusiastic about her son’s future. She was very proud of Liam. We were really active in church. Anna got baptized at that time. Her relationship with God was beginning to grow; then Anna was diagnosed with leukemia.
We were all shocked and didn’t know what to do. It was the first time that someone in our family had contracted a serious illness. The night after we found out Anna had leukemia, we cuddled up in the bedroom and comforted each other. I remember that the lights were out and I was beside the bed with Anna. I could not contain my sadness and I started to cry. Anna asked me why I was crying and I told her I didn’t want to see her suffer; we both cried then.
My mom’s life revolved around Anna when she got sick. I supported my mom and did some of the errands needed for Anna’s treatment. Fortunately, we have relatives who are doctors so we were able to get professional advice. The treatment went well and we were amazed at how Anna went through the procedures so courageously. The negative side effects of the procedures seldom bothered her. Our worry lessened because the doctors told us that her treatment was going well. I prayed that God would heal Anna and bless her.
Why Is This Happening to Us?
I asked God why this was happening to us. I didn’t get mad at God, but I asked a lot of questions. I was convinced that God is good and He loves us, but at the same time I was trying to figure out why God allowed these things to happen. We continued to pray for Anna’s healing and did what was needed for her treatment. Day in, day out I just lifted her up to God and gave my support to her. The church was also a huge encouragement to Anna and our whole family. But, despite all this, the cancer came back and Anna died.
Anna’s Wake
I had the opportunity to give the eulogy for Anna at her wake. There, what I emphasized in my speech was that even though I may not be very good in a lot of things, I know that I was a good brother. Now that Anna’s gone, it’s like a part of me is also gone.
Our Family at Peace
I think we are at peace because we believe in God. We have faith in Him. Even though my sister has passed away, it’s not like she is lost; actually God has taken her to some place where she can rest, and be comforted from her physical pain, and just feel His love for her. There is that peace that transcends all understanding.
Right now, our family continues to serve the Lord, and be a testimony to others. We want people to know that we should not abandon our belief in God because we experience some kind of suffering, but rather, because of our weaknesses, we should approach God even more.
