by Erlinda S. Apoli
The home is where good, personal, intimate, and harmonious relationships are supposed to begin. If there is harmony in the home, it will most likely be carried to work places, schools, and other venues. However, a loud cry is heard among teenagers complaining that parents don’t understand them and vice versa. This condition creates a gap between the parents and their kids. According to American Heritage Dictionary, generation gap is a broad difference in values and attitudes between one generation and another, especially between parents and their children.
Moreover, the teenage years often brings behavior that causes relationship conflicts to emerge. Unresolved, these conflicts may lead to vices or even depression. Depression-related suicides are fueled by feelings of not being heard or being misunderstood. How can parents reach out to save them?
The answer is simple–communication! One of the reasons why teenagers keep silent is because they are afraid of rejection. That is why they express themselves through social media, thinking that they are accepted there. With the advent of social media, virtual communication became the norm and face-to-face conversation is becoming less comfortable. An improper balance of social media and actual communication can cause the gap to grow wider. But, there is no gap that cannot be bridged. Spending quality time with our teens will make them feel valuable.
When our kids were younger, my husband worked abroad. During that phase, I felt that communication between them and their dad was virtual and unreal. Though I tried my best to make my kids feel valued, there’s still something missing – it was the presence of their father. My husband and I realized that our relationship with our kids is more important than money.
Good communication begins with parents who model the character of Christ in their lives. Remember, kids often follow what you do rather than what you say. Teach good values by acting on it. Bear the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Certainly, they will bear fruit in the lives of your teens. Your character will create a concrete example of God’s character as well.
A little gesture of love and concern goes a long way. Set a time for pep talks at a dinner table; attend parents’ meetings in school; help with their homework; and do other acts of love. Moreover, allow them to express themselves freely without making them feel embarrassed or agitated. Avoid nagging or criticizing them. If children feel they are important, they will open up.
The Bible says in Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise—so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (NIV). This command carries a promise of a good and long life for the children who obey. While this is true, the responsibility does not rest on the children alone. Ephesians 6:4 states, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (NIV).
There may be a great difference in values and attitudes between our children’s generation and ours, but putting on the values and attitudes taught to us from the Word of God can surely make a difference in the lives of the next generation. With dedication, patience and faith, we can indeed bridge this generation gap.
