The story of Belina Gaiwen as told to Kim Snider
Belina Gaiwen was a pastor of a Kankanaey Church for 14 years; currently she is the treasurer for the South Cordillera District Assemblies of God. In this article, Belina shares how she has learned to make wise decisions when the stakes are high.
After being married for 7 years, you decided to quit pastoring and devote full time to your family. Was it hard for you to make the decision to be a stay-at-home mom?
“Very hard. Actually, I really struggled to make that decision. I asked for a Sabbatical leave for six months and prayed during that time, and finally I had peace when I decided to resign. God gave me peace.”
A lot of our readers are in the same situation. They are pulled between staying at home and having a career. Why do you think that it is such a hard decision to make?“I loved my career. I loved my call as a pastor, and the people loved me. They did not want me to go. So it was all a part of my struggle. I didn’t know what would happen after I resigned, what I would do. There was no concrete plan. But then I just prayed and on the day of my decision to resign, God gave me peace. I did it for my family.”
Were there financial worries when you decided to give up your career? “Yes. You see, God really is wonderful in all His ways because that was one of my considerations before I resigned. I was thinking “God I’m well supported as a pastor and my husband is just a farmer. In the Philippines, farming does not really generate much income. But one year after I resigned, someone I didn’t even know offered to let us open a flower shop in Manila. She texted me, “If you want to come down to Manila and sell flowers, you’re welcome. The initial amount needed is around P50,000.” And I said, “Wow! P50,000! We don’t even have P20,000.” Then suddenly this person said, “You just come, everything is paid. Just come and sell, and if you make money, then you can pay me back.”
Can you describe the process you go through when you make a decision?
“Think, pray, wait for peace. Those are the three basic things I do before I make important decisions in my life.”
When you are in the “thinking” part of the process, what are some considerations that go through your mind? A lot of the ladies that read our magazine are in the process of making decisions right now. The Philippines is a country that’s changing; a lot of the old ways are disappearing.
“I weigh the positive and the negative side. I also ask my friends what they think, and my leaders also. Thinking and praying go together. I look at God’s guidance in the Bible.”
How do you use the Bible when you’re making decisions? For instance, one of the big decisions people are faced with now is whether to go abroad to work. Does the Bible speak about leaving your family and going abroad to work?
“I can’t say there is a Bible verse saying people should not go abroad if that is needed. But for me, family is much more important than money.
“When I was a Pastor, people were leaving their families to work abroad. Honestly, I had church members whose families were broken because of that. I always told them, ‘if you have plans of going abroad, you should go while you’re single. Because once you get married, it’s really a risky decision to leave your family and go abroad.’
“If you do plan to go abroad after you are married, it must be a family decision. It has to be something husband, wife and children talk about. The problem was, most of the ladies who came to me for counsel when I was pastoring had already made decisions to go abroad before ever consulting me, or their family.”
So, when you are making a decision personally, do you pray before you decide, or do you pray that God would bless you after you decide?“
I would say, you pray before you ever make your decision. You pray, and talk about it before you make a decision.”
Has God ever said “No” to you when you really wanted to do something?
“Many times. Sometimes when God says ‘NO,’ I cry. I have a tantrum, but then as I continue to walk with the Lord, I realize it’s for my own good.” Maybe some of our readers made decisions before they knew how to get God’s guidance. What would you say, for instance, to someone who realizes they’ve made the wrong decision about the man they married?
“Prayer does a lot. For example, if someone realizes they are married to the wrong man, in our culture as Filipinos, there is no way they can leave their husband (unless they are battered). I think they have to work it out together and pray.
“They must accept that they made the wrong decision, and they have to suffer the consequences. The man they are married to is the right man for them now since they are already married. Second, they should pray for their husband that, if he’s not a Christian, he will come to know the Lord. If they are looking for a Christian family, then once he gets saved, probably the family will be fixed.”
Do you think God can really change people much?
“I do. Someone I knew married a non-believer. This man was a drunkard. He was irresponsible; he didn’t earn much money. When he did earn money, it wasn’t enough for the family. His wife had to work hard. She was the breadwinner for the family. Every time he got drunk, his wife would pray for him. Many times he was like that, but his wife remained with him and accepted it as the consequence of her disobedience. This lady remained faithful to the Lord, faithful to her husband. Finally, her husband was diagnosed with stomach ulcers and he almost died. After much prayer, he recovered and he gave his life to the Lord. He stopped drinking. He went to church faithfully. Because he was physically weak he couldn’t work, his wife had to go abroad to support the family. While she was gone, her husband was so responsible. He took care of the children. He became a leader in the church. Now, they are happy together.”
You said that one way to know you are making the right decision is that there is peace. What does peace feel like?
“When I had to decide whether I would keep pastoring or resign and focus on my family, I had to pray for a long period of time. When I said, ‘Ok Lord, I will resign and focus on my family first,’ the surge of peace just came over me.”
If you could tell the women of the Philippines anything, what would you tell them?
“As women, we have a role that God has prepared for us. So whatever that is, we need to continue to pray and ask guidance from God. If we have made any wrong decisions, God is a forgiving God, as long as we have sincere motives.”
