by Erlinda S. Apoli
Time flies and kids grow rapidly! Watching them grow and accomplish one milestone after another is a fulfillment of parenthood that can never be replaced by anything else.
For several years, my husband was always away because of work. Life was not easy then for a working mom like me as I tried to balance work and family, but in his absence, I managed to spend time with my kids as much as I could. I read bedtime stories to them, played bahay-bahayan with them, danced with them, and even asked them to join me in washing the dishes or do the laundry. However, there was a time I chose my job over my daughter’s first lead-role performance in school. I regretted that decision because I missed an opportunity to see my 4th grade daughter accomplish another milestone in her life. Well, I tried to console myself by saying “moms are not perfect; we make wrong choices sometimes, but we can make up for the lost time.”
Indeed, investing time with the kids is hard work but it’s worth the investment. My husband was good at this because even though he was far away, he really took time to communicate almost every day. And every time he was home, he would always spend time playing with the kids. One of the most valued play times was ‘horsey-horsey’ with their daddy where dad played horse and the girls sat on his back. Playing with them was a stress reliever for him. I took videos of special moments like this. In fact, some of these captured moments were played on their eighteenth birthday. It spiced up the party and the guests couldn’t stop laughing.
Spending time with the kids is discovering their unique personalities and individual potentials. The time we invested on our daughters reaped tremendous rewards. They grow up secure, confident and respectful. They aren’t perfect, but they have developed a healthy self-image, so they are able to express themselves properly. They also know how to acknowledge their mistakes and to apologize when necessary. This character was not built overnight. As a matter of fact, they still continue learning every day. When times get tough or when they find making decisions difficult, they can easily seek advice from us without fear or inhibitions.
Once, our teenage daughter asked me something about boy-girl relationship issues. My heart beat fast; apprehension surged up; and I started to worry. I gave myself time to think and pray. I knew I had to answer wisely, otherwise she wouldn’t understand and rebel. Suddenly, the book “Reach for Life”, flashed in my mind. I let her read on ‘Love and Dating’ (page 420) where a statement says, “There is a difference between being in love and real love…”. I explained the important details once in a while until we reached page 421 where another statement says, “It’s much better to be single until you’re really ready. Remember: You don’t need someone to be someone.” I felt relieved when she eventually displayed a now-I-understand expression on her face and uttered appreciation of what she had just learned. It was a special quality moment for both of us and it saved her from making a wrong decision. Dr. Peter Tan-chi calls it “Magic Moments – These are the times when you are together, and they suddenly open up.” Another insight from him; “The more you spend time with someone the greater is your influence on the person. So, the more you spend time with your children, the greater is your influence over them.”
Doing things as simple as watching movies, painting the room, or playing word games together with our kids is a fulfillment. These moments have great impact on them; they will never forget because, for them, these are the best times!
